31 December 2009

December's ups & downs..

CD10/Dec20/5pm - No shock but CD 10 OPK is a BFN absolutely NOTHING in test area.... I don't see O coming on CD12/13 again.. that had to be a fluke... UPDATE: Dry there is aliiiiiiight line in the test area.

CD11/Dec 21/4pm- BFN p- visible but light line in test area within 5 minutes of test.

CD12/Dec 22/5pm- BFN- I can see it without squinting but it's just as light as yesterday, not at all like last month. I'll be poas i think mid-morning & evening the next few days to make sure I catch it.. have opk will travel.... BD every other day to try to let the little guys strengthen up this month. I hope this string of positive pregnancy tests rubs off on meeeee!!! SO excited for everyone!

CD13/Dec23/9:30pm- OPK is POSITIVE guess there's gonna be some going on .. sometime.. probably tomorrow night... he's exhausted and falling asleep and the girls are still wide awake...

pic of opk

CD14/Dec24/5pm- my OPK is distinctly NEGATIVE again... yesterday's OPK was at 9pm and I only managed that ONE yesterday and now it's definitely a negative about the same shade as CD11/12.. AND my temp spiked, but the house temperature was odd, not hot, not cold, but muggy? Bad storm so electricity was out... ..

CD15/Dec25/ - Haven't tested yet- update bding since Tuesday... IF I do get pregnant this cycle it truly will be a Christmas miracle temp was 96.5 today.. the room was cool and some male had my blanket.. so I'm probably going to wind up discarding it so I don't confuse FF with my O.. we'll see in a couple of days.

CD16 thru current- ALL new opk 's are negative (added pic to cd13 of positive opk) so I guess I'm just hanging out in my 2ww now..

FF BD Report-

CD9, 12, 15... Fertility friend gives me a "good" rating on my free week of VIP based on CD12 O which I don't agree with... I'm not feeling like we caught it with life's uncooperativeness.. We'll see.

IC Testing Projection (all DPO based on FF):
  • Friday, Jan 1 at 10 DPO... not much hope but it is New Years.. so I HAVE to...
  • Tuesday, Jan 5 at 14 DPO when FF says AF is due.
  • Thursday, January 7 at 16 DPO if AF is a no show..
DPO based on what I think? CD 15 O.. so subtract 3 from all of those dates and AF would be due January 8, 2010... so If she's still not around by the 9th I'll poas with an Answer Early Results.

Projected EDD with FF CD12 O: Wed, Sept 15
Projected DPO with probable CD15 (CHRISTMAS) O: Sat, Sept 18 (our 5th anniversary)

I'm over analyzing LOL.. probably because I'm trying to see a possible pregnancy when I just don't feel it..

Not going into poas overdrive this month because I'm not feeling it.

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21 December 2009

CD11 Past time for an update

Well instead of trying to talk to DH I just sent him the link to my blog. He's ok with that because he knows that I get my ideas & feelings out better when I write. He agreed t just about anything I wanted, though pointed out that it wasn't just "letting it happen." I know. But I'm 32, we have a LOT of changes coming up with this move, and I've only got a 50/50 chance of hitting the correct tube... So I'm going to do what I can to maximize my chances, without freaking out over bfn's. "I solemnly swear!"

Right not I am gearing up to ovulate. I took my soy cd5-9 in order to stimulate my ovaries to produce a better quality egg. The later doses help strengthen/growalready produced folicles. After more research and discussing "issues" with other "one tubers", I've found that I may do better taking it cd 3-7 in order to stimulate both ovaries into producing folllicles, this giving myself a month chance to ovulate on the correct (tube) side.

At any rate I am due to ovulate this coming week or weekend sometime... All this of course if I don't hit it correct this month, get mt BFP and recreate this as a pregnancy blog LOL! I hope this is the last month I have to create as plan to get pregnant.....

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11 December 2009

Sitting here thinking about TTC

As I sit here & contemplate the thought of round #1 being a complete bomb out (still stark white tests@14dpo) , I have to wonder (already?!?!??) how much of this I can take.

How much will he allow? Sure he's all for the on demand BD but if I start going off my rocker he's gonna call a halt to the whole TTC process.

I think I need to prioritize and try to get him to let me try just a few things to make this easier.

  • I need to do my basal body temping (bbt) again.

Because part of my issue right now is that I don;t know for sure when I ovulated. What I do know is that I won't get a positive until at least 15 days after that... but was that 15 days yesterday, today, or tomorrow? Not 100% sure. Temping would allow me to understand that.
What good would it do?
Well for one, I wouldn't waste tests on "maybe it's early enough", second i'd know if this was even a possibility (ie. am I ovulating?), third I need to recheck my bbt 4x a day for my thyroid issues, because that could also be an/the issue.

  • I need to find/get my records and confirm that it was my right tube that was removed.

I'm only 99% sure.. but that was a super drug induced haze for about a week.. add the grieving, and the whiny, bitchy mother that was at my house (mine) and I can't really remember shit for certain.

  • I need to order the stabilizing supplements for the Wilson's Thyroid Syndrome (if the temps check out).

TTC or not the thyroid issue side effects make my body cranky and my life hell... let's kill one problem, huh?

  • Remind DH that I love him even if this doesn't work.

Because even though he makes pretty ones, I know he's not solely on this planet to make me babies (though he loves to practice), and that sometimes gets away from me when I'm TTC. I don't want him to think that the only reason I want him is because I want a baby... As much as I want this to happen, I want it to be love, not just duty...

Off to sleep and hopefully wake up to some sort of double line on a test.... so we can call this all "moot"

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10 December 2009

13 DPO

So I'm testing tomorrow.. AGAIN. Friday, Dec 11 on 14 DPO w/FMU ...

If it's a bfn I'll test again Saturday morning because I'm scheduled to give blood, but can't if I'm pregnant.

AF is due late Saturday night. In the event she doesn't show I might test Sunday.. or I might just hang out till Monday.

Sunday is 16 dpo and that would be the latest I'd think I'd get a false negative.

I don't know why.. but I am just not feeling it. I don;t think I'm pregnant this month. I have no symptoms, no signs.. add that to the fact that I think I ovulated on the right I'm just not thinking this is my month. Hell, I'm not even 100% certain I ovulated.

IF AF shows, i am getting another thermometer and I'm temping. I know I told him I wouldn't but like I told him about the OPKs.. there is no point in waiting on a bfp everymonth if I'm not even ovulating... or not ovulating when we think I am. It's hard enough to deal with only having one working tube.. no point in stressing myself out about not ovulating when that can be tracked.

I haven't peed since 6am.. maybe I'll go POAS....

update: bfn Pictures, Images and Photos

x-posted on tmp ttc journals

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08 December 2009

Happy Birthday George & Avery

Today is DH's 29th birthday and the anniversary of my due date ... for our angel, Avery. So first, Happy Happy Birthday, Baby.. I love you. I hope your 29th year is as exciting as mine (We had Kae that year remember??)

This time last year I was a melted teary mess, remembering and telling Avery good-bye. This year I'm hopeful.

I still haven't seen a BFP (big fat positive), but today is only 11DPO, so that is really early in the game for us. I'm holding off until Friday before I test again. Even if i get a bfn (big fat negative) at least I have hope in the fact that I can ttc .... I AM TTC! That is a huge step closer than last year when I thought I had lost even that chance :)

Off to set up homework so I can get it done tonight, watch a movie with DH, & veg out till Friday

Keep your fingers crossed for TWO PINK LINES on Friday... no matter how faint!

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