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06 July 2012

Dreamer's Alcove has come to an end...

When I created Dreamer's Alcove, I had lost yet another pregnancy, I was battling infertility from all angles, and I was in a state where all I coudl do was dream about how my future would be.

My future has become my today. I am a mother to 2 beautiful girls and wife to a wonderful man. It's my life.. and I love it!

Dreamer's Alcove is now A Mom with a Coffee Cup!

Feel free to come on over to Wordpress (personalized dot com coming soon!) and join the family! Can't wait to see you!

NOTE: All blogger content will remain so that there are no broken links in my transferred posts until I can update them all.

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27 June 2012

Wordless Wednesdays (almost?!?!) - Coming soon!



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PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

22 June 2012

Home Journal: Printable Children's Chore Charts

This one was mainly done for Kaelyn.

She always asks what she can do to help, and I can't ever think of anything on short notice. However her new bedroom is now divided in "stations". We made a "book club" under her bed, and she got a used barbie sized princess castle at the local thrift store after losing her first tooth, and then there is the dress up area, her desk, etc. Right now it is her desk, the book club, and the castle that catch hell so That's what her chore chart focuses on, and I added "Ask Momma for a Chore" for when the other areas need picked up.

Screenshot
I am still working on a boy/neutral one and a teen one but for now here is  MS Office .docx and a PDF.

DOWNLOAD
Pink/Hello Kitty Chore Chart, PDF

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  PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

Summer Fun 2012 Pressed Flower Art

Remember the Summer Fun post where she wouldn't reveal what she drew? It was "Movie Night"., since she drew it that meant she got to pick the movie. She was excited, but that left a space of boredom during the day, because she's had a heat rash of some sort so I was keeping her inside... drowned rat sad faced kind of trauma I'm telling you!

So I let her pick another one to see if it was something we could do NOW. (Next jar I think I'll color code: crafts,  trips, indoor, outdoor.. or something like that so I can give her a few color options to choose from based on time span.) She picked pressed flower art.

We really don't have a lot in our new yard yet, some purple flowers I haven't identified and a lot of dandelions. Does anyone think Kaelyn cared? You got it! Not at all!

I thought it might be something you'd like to try, and I did get pictures, so I decided to blog it. There are lots of fancy ways to do this on the web, but here's how we did it:

Step 1: Pick flowers & pretty leaves

Step 2: Put a napkin in a book, and place flowers to press. Cover with another napkin.
Step 3: Cover your book with some junk mail....

Step 4: because you'll be covering it with the heaviest pot you own. In our case, this is cast iron and no amount of cleaning prevents the black ring. Press for at least an hour
I had to take this pic twice.. I got in trouble, because
I wasn't fast enough to get her struggling to pick the pot
up the first time...so she faked it for a retake LOL!








Step 5: Get out your fun stuff and decorate some paper blanks. We decided to make book marks by folding some card stock scraps in half.
Step 6: Lay your pressed flowers out on your decorated card stock and press them down with a strip of wide clear tape or clear contact paper.
Step 7: Since we used folded card stock we taped it down and trimmed.

Step 8: My favorite part! Ask if they had fun, because this IS for them... and get tackle hugged because you are an awesome Mommy :-)
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PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

21 June 2012

Summer Fun - in a fun way!

I have discovered a new favoruite website. Wordle. You can use it to make subway art. You know the fun abstract shaped random words? I used it to make a Summer Fun list for our family.

I took a list of summer fun to do: crafts, trips, foods, activities, and more for indoor and outdoor fun on rainy and sunny days and created my own Wordle :-)


I printed it on plain printer paper and will be framing it in a regular glass frame to make it dry erasable.

Here are a few things to know about Wordle:
  • You can't save from the site, but you can "print screen" or use your snipping tool and paste into a photo editing program to print. See their FAQ for more info.
  • A space means a new word. So "Summer Fun 2012" would print in 3 separate places, but "SummerFun2012" prints together, so plan accordingly with your words. All of mine are Capitalized OnTheFirstLetterOfEachWord. :-p
  • If you want certain words to stand out (mine are summer fun, Freitas Family, and to a lesser degree, Get new Library Card, Rainsticks, etc), List the word more than once. The more you repeat it, the bigger it is. My word list looked like this:
FreitasFamily
FreitasFamily
FreitasFamily
FreitasFamily
SummerFun2012
SummerFun2012
SummerFun2012
SummerFun2012
Farmer'sMarket
Farmer'sMarket
SprinklerFun
SprinklerFun
Bubbles
Bubbles
SidewalkChalk
SidewalkChalk
FairyHouse
FairyHouse
GetNewLibraryCard
GetNewLibraryCard
NakedEggs
BeachTrip
CampOut
Smores
PuppetTheater
TieDye
Sunprints
SeashellGarden
HammeredFlower
LeafPrints
PaintedRocks
PaperBagWindSock
Hopscotch
FlowerPinwheels
Kaleidoscopes
PressedFlowerArt
TissuePaperButterflies 
ClothespinDolls
VacationMemoryJars
TinCanStilts
RainSticks
RainSticks
Checkerboards
BulletinBoards
FriendshipBracelets
RainbowJello
FruityLemonade
NatureWalk
Swimming
WaterFight
MovieNight
SockPuppets
TeaParty
Picnic
PIZZA!
TourCapital
VisitMuseums
Windchime

Each stands for a thing to do, go to, make, experiment with, etc.

  • You can choose custom colors. Colors is the ONLY attribute you can change without the format changing. So make sure you like your shape and then set your custom color pallette.
  • Play with all the nifty buttons & the menu links at the top of the button - It's COOL!
  • Have fun!
See my Summer Fun 2012 page to follow along as we complete our list!

I also put them in scraps of card stock in a jar so she can pic then randomly for us! Today we get...
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I guess she's not telling? :-)

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PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

20 June 2012

Cheesy Fiesta Chicken

Kaelyn asked for this today. Apparently "Cheesy Chicken" was a hit! There is a similar recipe in the P90X cookbook but we've modified it for us, as usual. I am using all of the standard "ok ingredients" and rules. Like "Cheese isn't an ingredient, it's a condiment". As in don't drown your foods in cheese and other dairy based products. Just add a little for flavor and move along.

Please ignore the fuzziness... I didn't realize the lens got steamed till it was too late!

Home Journal: 15 Minute Clean Kitchen

The Kitchen. 


It is the room I love the most, yet hate the most... when it comes to cleaning that is. I could spend all day in there cooking, experimenting, drinking coffee, and the like. But I hate cleaning up my mess! :)


I have come across several "quick clean" posts, articles, and printables on the web but none were quite universal. I wrote this one at the apartment, and I've reviewed it here at the new place with the larger kitchen - with less storage... how does that happen??? Ah well, that's another post! Anyway... It still works.


This one is practical, not pretty. I guess I could print it on fancy paper, but it's functional, and really, does anything else matter?


Here's the steps I'm using, and hopefully I've made it universal enough to work for you, too.

18 June 2012

Grown-Up Yum Yums: Midori Sour

A good friend introduced me to Midori. It's a melon liquor with a fruity, highly sweet taste. Once I made my Sour Mix I wanted a fun drink to go with, and I had midori so I started searching for Midori Sours, like you'd do an amaretto sour? I found about a dozen indvidual recipes and I came up with a mix I liked, and several friends agreed. After tweaking, here's what we came up with!

Midori Sour


Note: I used a 1.5 oz shot glass for this, but the ratio will stay the same no matter what size unit you use to measure.


Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 parts Bacardi Gold Rum
  • 1 1/2 parts Midori
  • 2 parts Sour Mix
  • 2 parts ginger ale

Directions:

  1. Mix over ice in a tall (16oz) glass.
  2. Stir.
  3. Enjoy!

As with any of my recipes, I say make it your own. My original was Bacardi Gold Rum, Midori, and diet ginger ale. I'll be trying it soon with Bacardi 151, and I'll probably take it to 1 part rum & 2 parts Midori since 151 is stronger flavored. I tried it this weekend with the Bacardi Gold and cherry lime-ade - IT TASTED LIKE A JOLLY RANCHER! A friend prefers vodka and is going to try it that way.

So choose your favorite liquer base (rum, vodka, tequila, etc), and the Midori and Sour Mix, and top it off with your favorite sweet mixer (ginger ale, cherry limeade, sprite, orange or pineapple juice, etc) It's your party! The sky's the limit!

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Grown-Up Yum Yums: Sour Mix

So one huge factor in our move is it brought us closer to friends to hang out on the weekends without it being  practically a vacation or road trip! Because of this we've had lots of impromptu weekend get-togethers, dinner parties, and movie nights.

So, for fun's sake, I'm starting a "series" called Mixology.  I'll start today with 2-3 seperate posts, then they'll come as I find something new!

I'll have the full list on my new Mixology page!

First post is something we've all used and really I am now wondering WHY I ever bought it: Sour Mix, or Sweet & Sour Mix. You know the stuff you use to make Amaretto sours and the like? SOOOOOOO easy to make!

Plus, it's the star in the first drink!

Sour Mix


Ingredients (can be halved, doubled, or more to fit your needs!)

  • 1 1/3 cups water
  • 1 1/3 cups sugar (working on a splenda/low cal option, too!)
  • 2 cups lemon juice *see note*

Directions

  1. Bring sugar and water to a boil over medium high heat and boil for 5 minutes.
  2. Cool to room temp.
  3. Add juice.
  4. Pour into a container with a lid (a capped pour spout bottle works great!)
  5. Chill unused portions for several weeks.

Note: If you want a mix for margaritas, try lime. For a great all around mix, try half lemon, half lime. Make it yours!

 Simple, Easy, TASTY!

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04 June 2012

FINALLY MOVED!!!!

Well we are finally IN the new place... now just to get everything situated!  I still have a lot of work to do but I hope to spend at least a few minutes a day catching up on my blogging and finishing up the Home journal with you as well!

I hope you all had a great Memorial Day (since I missed wishing that before) and I pray you took a moment to thank a military veteran in your life for what they have done for our country in war and in peace.

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PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

18 May 2012

And so it begins...

So... all this packing I have been complaining about? Tomorrow our friends are coming over to help us with the transplant of the majority of our house.

I'm excited.

I'm dreading it.

I'll be a much happier person once it's done. It really is going well and what is best is that I have not semi-permanently disabled myself in the process like my last move.

On a good note I feel like I'm more prepared for this move. I'm sure the majority of my lack of organization on my last move was the fact that I couldn't walk.. sit.. stand... FUNCTION because my back hurt so bad. I'm able to take my time this move and pack some daily and I'm not hurting.

Did I mention I'm not hurting?

It's fabulous!

I may be MIA for a few days while we get this done. I promise that once I get settled I'll recap the Home Journal and move along on it's creation.

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  PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

16 May 2012

Home Journal: Making Changes

So we now have our "Perpetual Cleaning Schedule". Do you remember when I said to change it to fit you? That is the whole point of the HJ, to fit your needs.Well I am already changing mine again!

I have been following and finding new bogs and I found an amazing idea at Echoes of Laughter - Revolutionize Your Laundry Routine. Her idea is AMAZING!!! I have always said that if it isn't it the laundry room it doesn't get washed and yet I am always hunting for the thing they lost that they need... the night before they "Neeeeeeeed it!" with Angie's system I can really mean it!

Broken down simply:
  • 1 basket per family member in their room ( I like these corner hampers from Kohl's!!! or maybe some collapsible.... so many to choose....)
  • 1 family member's laundry washed per day
  • 1 basket of laundry returned FOR THEM TO PUT AWAY! ( I love that part!)
I really can't wait to implement this! I just have to decide when to do who's. Since my "Change sheets" Day is Thursday I'll do linens Thursday, soooooo.....My current idea is:


Sunday: NO LAUNDRY
Monday: NO LAUNDRY
Tuesday: Etcs
Wednesday: Mom & Dad's Laundry (we will probably share a basket.)
Thursday: Linens
Friday: Halie's Laundry
Saturday: Kaelyn's Laundry

Sounds good for now. I'll let ya know how it goes and show you my new perpetual when I get it typed up!


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  PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

15 May 2012

Boxes

I'm seriously tired of looking at them.

We've taken one load of smaller boxes (DVDs, books, glasses, & other kitchen things) and a desk out to the new place already... mostly because we were tripping over things we'd packed because the apartment is laid out so odd. We start the official move Friday so there is no time, nor reason to waste gas, on another 2 hour round trip so I'm staring at this:

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My living room is only about 10 ft wide and I have furniture in here to boot, and the office is where the front door is... I have a mild claustrophobia and I am really getting cringy and about to pull my hair out... 4 more days.

What's even more of a pain is that it really doesn't look like we've accomplished squat on packing and we have, really. Aside from the master and Halie's bedroom, and like 1 box in Kaelyn's,  it is almost packed.

I can't wait to get to the new rental and start UNpacking. That part, I like. This one? I hate it.

In other news.. I'll be getting back to the Home Journal as soon as possible! I hope you're having fun working on yours!

Until next time!
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 PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

14 May 2012

Meal Plan Monday May 14

Linking up with Laura @ OrgJunkie today!
Click the image to visit other meal planning bloggers!
PS. Getting on her website on Mondays is tough. Bandwidth issues.

With very few days until the move actually starts in earnest I've got to get back into meal planning so I can get the most tasks done with minimal effort.

I have packed up my kitchen, keeping out what I thought I would need and in cooking a full, SIMPLE meal on the stove I kept reaching for things I had packed up. So this week I'm going back to the crock pot - ALL WEEK!! I'm also using what is already in the freezer (less to move!) so that means lots of chicken!

Monday & Tuesday: Second Chance Meals Chicken Enchiladas & Enchilada Bean Soup
Wednesday: BBQ Rubbed Crock Pot Chicken
Thursday: Chuckwagon Stew
Friday: Four Bean Chili
Saturday: MOVING DAY #1! We'll eat somewhere, at some time... I promise?
Sunday: Leftovers or Creamy Farmhouse Garden Soup

I'll also be adapting a few of these recipes. I pulled these from OLD blog posts before we started eating healthier, so I am going to do my best to adapt them to something a litte more suotableto match teh P90X@ meal plan we've been eating.
  • Less salt (the BBQ Rub has 1/4 cup!!!!!)
  • Less fats (including whole milks, butters, & creams)
  • More whole grains, like brown rice, etc.
I'll update the recipes in a new post if I make any major changes, otherwise I'll just add a note to the original. :-)

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Facebook Fan Page

Bit the bullet and made a FB page for the blog again. Maybe we can get the love spread all about LOL!

Until I get 25 fans I can't get my fancy own URL sooooo....

Click my cute profile image for now :)


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  PS: Just a reminder to my printables followers!, Nitro PDF allows you to type text into ANY pdf, save, and/or print it, or even create your own. Best of all... It's FREE!!! Check it out HERE. I'm not an affiliate, so I get nothing for sending you to it. I just love it and think you will too!

13 May 2012

Happy Mother's Day!


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12 May 2012

Home Journal: Food Journal

The Home Journal isn't just for household chores and the like. FlyLady calls it a "Control Journal" so that you can take control of your life. This is one of those additions that goes towards that.


If you've followed DA a while you might remember these diet & exercise journal printables I made a while back. When I was following a strict wheat free diet and needed to track everything for fertility purposes it was my best option. 

With my NEW Home Journal I wanted to add more pizzaz & color, so I made......

My kids, My life ♥

An amazingly talented friend made this for me and I am IN LOVE with it...


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So I just wanted to share :)

When I picked the quote I was searching for something about sand to go with their pictures from the beach. I didn't know it was a song. All I knew was that the quote fit where I am in my life now perfectly.

Infertility was my mountain. A battle I faced, and I've only recently realized that it never had the power to completely defeat me because it was too late!!! I have these two in my heart & life... already in my hands.

The song however... the one playing in the background.... wow!
Very fitting.  FYI: Screw you, Infertility.






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11 May 2012

Home Journal: Perpetual Cleaning Schedule

I hate this part.. don't we all? But it is the part that has to be done or things get away from us and then we spend our free day doing it all. 

Creating a cleaning schedule changes that rush when friends & family come over (or the embarrassment when they just stop by!) and allows you that free time when you do get a day off. 



In order to create your cleaning schedule think of the things that you have got to do or things go nuts. This isn't the standard things, like dishes &








09 May 2012

Home Journal: Important Numbers

We all have cell phones that we have our most important numbers in.. but what if our kids need the number and they don't have it saved. Or the baby sitter... or you can't find your cell (usually guilty!) And I included a spot to put your street address so that during an emergency you can read it if you are frazzled.

Here is a screen shot of my printable Important Numbers PDF .


Gluten Free Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies



This makes a thin but chewy cookie that I lined out tonight and fell in love. I wanted an egg free PB cookie because I don't care for the texture, and since I need them wheat free, oats was my best option for a binder. Using Margarine made them dairy free, but I added mini-chocolate chips (yum!) But you can use real butter if you don;t need the dairy-free that tends to make a different textured cookie than margarine. As a matter of fact if you use GF oats, no egg, and no dairy, the only allergen in them is nuts.

Makes about 2 1/2 dozen cookies

Ingredients
  • 3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
  • 4 Tbsp margarine
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla

08 May 2012

Chicken Barley Soup




Those of you that know me well know that I never follow a recipe to a T. I have been doing well following the P90X2 recipes but we've been using them since January so I wanted to mix it up a bit. This came out even better than expected! I am AMAZED! I even had it for breakfast today! what?!?! It's good!
 

Chicken Barley Soup
Serves 6-8
Time till serving: approximately 1 hour


#AvengersMonth Giveaway by a friend!

Do you love Disney??? My friend Amanda does!

She's the author of Living with The Magic and is an Independent Travel Expert for Mouseketrips, LLC as well. (So if you're planning a Disney Vacay CONTACT HER!!!) She is hosting a giveaway for a $125 Disney gift card AND an Avengers gift pack with the new movie release! (George already saw the movie on a BroDate and I can't wait!!! I couldn't go, I was having Strawberry Mango Margaritas wit the girls....)

It's also DragynAlly's birthday so head over to "The Dragyn's Lair", follow her awesome blog, and give her some birthday love!!!

Go! Go! GO!

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05 May 2012

Home Journal: Dear Babysitter

Hello, All! Today I'll share my "Dear Babysitter" sheet. I got a lot of these ideas from Tip Junkie's Executive Home Maker Binder but this idea is one I have played with since Halie started babysitting. Since I'll have other teens in my home babysitting over the summer while Halie visits her dad, I thought a clean cut sheet woudl be better. Halie loves it, go figure!!

Here's a screen shot of mine until I can get you a picture:


I created a pink and a darker neutral with fill in the blank options, including a space to put your 9-1-1 address for emergencies. If you are interested in printing your own click to

DOWNLOAD

This is one that will be laminated so that I can put in a visible place while the babysitter is there... still working on a cute display option! These also work well in a page protector. Dry erase still wipes right off!

So far on our Home Journal we have covered:
Weekly To-Do List
Dear Babysitter

Stay tuned for:
Important Numbers
Perpetual Cleaning Schedule (Editable in MS Office) 
15 Minute Quick Cleans
Printable Chore Charts (Editable in MS Office) 
...and more!


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04 May 2012

Home Journal: Things To-Do

First up I'll start with my "Things to do this week" list. This is one I'll laminate and hang where everyone can see it. Dry erase markers work great on page protectors or laminate, so it makes this reuseable!

OK so in a page protector propped by the glow of the laptop screen isn't a GREAT pic...
but you get the idea LOL!
When you download the PDF it comes with my attached "Use Ideas" page. to show you how I use it. When printing, if you don't want the "uses" page printed  just be sure to set it print page 1 only.

If  you're the kind who needs a more goal oriented to-do page try my "week at a glance" PDF. with spots for dailies, notes, goals, projects, and more.

I kinda like them both, so I may do one to hang and one for my HJ....

DOWNLOADS
Option 1 (with honey-do's)
Option 2 (with goals & tasks)

So far on our Home Journal we have covered:
Weekly To-Do List

Stay tuned for:
Dear Babysitter
Important Numbers
Perpetual Cleaning Schedule (Editable in MS Office) 
15 Minute Quick Cleans
Printable Chore Charts (Editable in MS Office) 

...and more!

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01 May 2012

Tip Me Tuesday: Re-Purposing Tees to Bags!

Today I'm gonna hang out at
Tip Junkie handmade projects 
with some re-purposed tees the girls and I made into reuseable bags!


Our easy instructions (step by step pics soon!):
  1. Snip the collar & sleeves off.
  2. Trim a loop off the sleeve & stretch it out to make a lacing.
  3. Snip holes in the bottom band,
  4. Thread "lacing" through & tie off.
WE LOVE IT!!!!!

Kae used a tank so there was no need to cut her collar off, but Halie and I liked the slouchiness (is that a word???) of the looser handles from the sleeves & collar being snipped. It was great way to save some of their favorite shirts that didn't fit but I couldn't convince them to give away. I'm thinking about making a whole stash of them (all those tees with worn edges or small stains?) for my Aldi shopping trips!

We got this idea from the Dollar Store Crafts Blog!
For full instructions go to:
Three Awesome Teen Girl Craft Night Ideas

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24 April 2012

An update...Finally!

Well, as you can tell from the lack of posting the decision making time came and went without a pregnancy announcement. I am currently on birth control and hoping the hormones don't kill me (or me someone else) before I get used to them. It's 10 days in and I feel horrid. Suggestion is wait 3 months to "adjust"... hurry up July!

In other news, we've decided to move into an older rental on private property. No fancy schmancy amenities like a pool... or a dishwasher (except Halie **evil mom laugh**) but there is a YARD and it's PRIVATE and it's about $100 less on rent with no need for the $70 storage facility. Sounds good to me even though I have to buy my own fridge.

We're moving as soon as the girls get out of school, but we get the keys 2 weeks before to get stuff moved in. It's gonna get crazy here for a while. I HATE packing and moving, unpacking is ok. This has to be my zillionth move in my 34 years of life. I'll survive.

Both the girls are as excited as we are about the move because we're moving near friends, so that's a plus for them Now all we have to do is survive the end of kindergarten (no sweat!) and 9th grade (sweating!)...

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21 February 2012

Saving me & mine...

In January 2012, I suffered an early term pregnancy loss. Suffered is putting it mildly. After years of trying it opened up a whole new world of pain I forgot existed. To see that positive test and have my body rip it away immediately was mind numbing and soul wrecking.

It made me realize not only how bad I really wanted another child, but how bad TTC is hurting me.

I have come to a long and hard decision. Instead of "TTC in 2012" and stopping TTC at the end of the year... we're "TTC a 2012 baby". I have an appointment for my annual exam on March 28th. It should be right around the time I ovulate for a late December EDD. If I am not pregnant in time for a 2012 EDD, I'm getting back on birth control to preserve what fertility I DO have left until IVF is feasible for us or my uterine problems finally cause need for a hysterectomy.

I love TTC (to an extent obvisouly) and I DO want another child so friggin badly, but I just can't do this anymore. It's tearing me apart.... and one huge thing makes me believe this is the right choice: no tears when I made the decision, and even more telling no tears anymore listening to and singing  aloud to Kellie Coffey's "I Would Die For That."

If you've never TTC you will never understand how much that song hurts.. if you have... you understand why I feel that no tears is a huge turning point. The song still pulls at my heart, but for other reasons I now believe. Amy, Mike & Jackson - Michelle, John, & Riley - Trish, Dave, & Sam.. (just to name very few miracles "in" my life) now give that song the message of hope that it should, rather than the feelings of despair that it did.

I have to stop the cycle of hope, pain, and depression. Not just for me, but for my family.
  • My girls have started talking about stuff  "for our baby"... and while I was ok for a long time with hurting myself with the "what ifs" I cannot do it to them.
  • My husband has a valid point.. well several.
    • That while I am trying to start a career this is no longer the best time to try
    • That I am stressing myself out over things I really can't control and it would be fine to TTC if I just could stop caring so much... and we know that can't happen!
  • My husband has never uttered one word about this, but I know the loss affected him. He saw a message on my phone about testing and thought I was hiding a BFP surprise from him.
  • The stress of TTC and the effect it has on my emotions causes a LOT of spats.. fights.. WARS in our marriage. I admit that usually I am to blame because I can't express myself and I lash out ot everything. He deserves better.
  • Believe it or not, I am not upset about this decision. I am oddly comforted. I have a goal: get pregnant. I have a expiration date: EDD December 2012. I have an alternative: birth control until another option becomes available.
Do I WANT to get pregnant before my EDD goal runs out? HELL YES! Will I be upset if I do not meet that goal? Right now. I don't know.

I do know that this is what I need, and my emotions, or lack thereof make me believe that is it the CORRECT decision. I'm good with this.. it's a relief.

I'm ending this with the song that everyone who knows an infertile should hear.. and you know what. EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN, because LIKE it or not, KNOW it or not, BELIEVE it or not, someone you know IS an infertile... and most can't/won't admit it because they know so very few people who would understand.



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01 January 2012


2012 Weight Loss
LilySlim Weight charts
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