As I sit here & contemplate the thought of round #1 being a complete bomb out (still stark white tests@14dpo) , I have to wonder (already?!?!??) how much of this I can take.
How much will he allow? Sure he's all for the on demand BD but if I start going off my rocker he's gonna call a halt to the whole TTC process.
I think I need to prioritize and try to get him to let me try just a few things to make this easier.
- I need to do my basal body temping (bbt) again.
Because part of my issue right now is that I don;t know for sure when I ovulated. What I do know is that I won't get a positive until at least 15 days after that... but was that 15 days yesterday, today, or tomorrow? Not 100% sure. Temping would allow me to understand that.
What good would it do?
Well for one, I wouldn't waste tests on "maybe it's early enough", second i'd know if this was even a possibility (ie. am I ovulating?), third I need to recheck my bbt 4x a day for my thyroid issues, because that could also be an/the issue.
- I need to find/get my records and confirm that it was my right tube that was removed.
I'm only 99% sure.. but that was a super drug induced haze for about a week.. add the grieving, and the whiny, bitchy mother that was at my house (mine) and I can't really remember shit for certain.
- I need to order the stabilizing supplements for the Wilson's Thyroid Syndrome (if the temps check out).
TTC or not the thyroid issue side effects make my body cranky and my life hell... let's kill one problem, huh?
- Remind DH that I love him even if this doesn't work.
Because even though he makes pretty ones, I know he's not solely on this planet to make me babies (though he loves to practice), and that sometimes gets away from me when I'm TTC. I don't want him to think that the only reason I want him is because I want a baby... As much as I want this to happen, I want it to be love, not just duty...
Off to sleep and hopefully wake up to some sort of double line on a test.... so we can call this all "moot"