Frustrated and confused...

First a little back story...

September 18, 2005 - MY WEDDING DAY!!

• 10 am - - 10 dpo
• 2pm - small family/informal wedding
• 5pm - getting out the dress - light/med spotting
• Sept 18-28 light/med spotting and just "out of it
• Oct 3 - friend demands a HPT - 24 dpo
• June 2 , 2006 Kaelyn Elizabeth arrives

*************************************************

So here I am praying that I don't get put on hold by hubby and I get:

• 9 dpo
• 
• light spotting
  

I never get my positives early. I just tested "because."

I don't know what to do. I obviously want this to be like kaelyn and just spotting before my BFP. If it was heavy flow and I KNEW it was AF I would accept it. We only BD ONCE before O.

If it is spotting..

I guess I'll wait till Sunday. If it get's heavy enough to call it AF I will, if not I'll test again.

I am worried if it's NOT AF... that's a 9 day luteal phase

And to top it off I tried to talk to hubby about a time line for TTC if I did start the BC pills and he said about 2 sentences then started talking about skate parks.... Sometimes I really do want to give up... and I haven't even started yet.

My chart has the chart for DD#2 showing the spotting before under this month's chart.

I obviously don't want to start the pills (at all) if it might be like Kaelyn.

I don't want every month TTC to be like this. I want definite answers, either AF or not. I can get frustrated at AF and that's ok. I can deal with it. It's the "maybe--maybe not--just wait" that's what makes me crazy. I don;t want to get him frustrated before we even get to reallystart trying, and he will if I have too many questions/concerns about it.

I guess the frustration boils down to I was expecting AF and now I have this limbo.. I JUST WANT AN ANSWER!!!!!